All I Need Is You

I remember the times I wondered where I would be today.
Would I be a doctor in a Cadillac or a drummer in a Chevrolet?
Well, I'm here to tell you that I don't drive a car,
and I don't really care to.
'Cause I got a lot for a poor city kid
Now all I need is you.

I've got my very own guitar and a big piano
and a second-hand tamborine.
I've got a color tv and a huge collection
of Playboy magazines.
I got a shirt from China, and one from Poland
and one straight from Peru.
I've got a buckle on my belt that says "One Man Band"
Now all I need is you.

I've got a Pentax camera with a polarizing filter
and a tungsten filter too.
I've got a set of weights that I lift above my head
that makes my face turn blue.
I've got a red motorcycle and a black leather jacket
and I cruise around 82.
I've got a dog who loves me...
And an official poster of the Rocky Horror Picture Show...
Now all I need is you.

Love Song

I saw you standing there
And I knew...
You were just the one
For me...
I could see
That you were looking back my way...
And I knew that it was time to make my play.
 
I lit your cigarette and charcoal-broiled your nose
And when I dropped the match it landed on your toes.
I said, "I'm sorry" and we both began to laugh...
Until my Certs flew out and landed on your neck.
 
I pressed my lips to yours and asked you to be mine
Just then, I bumped my glass and blessed you with my wine.
Your dress was pearly-white, my wine was deepest red
And so I didn't mind when your wine blessed my head.
 
We danced all night and were the only ones who knew
I'd stepped in gum that glued my sneaker to your shoe
And when the crowd had gone we hobbled to a chair...
Although my foot came out,
My sneaker stayed right there!
 
I said, "I'm sorry" and you said you had to leave.
I helped you with your coat but tore away your sleeve
I held the door for you and you tripped on a tile
And when we said Goodbye you asked about my 'style'
 
And as you walked into the night...
With one shoe on your left foot,
And two shoes on your right
A blister on your nose, and clothes
All smelling dollar wine,
I knew just one more chance and you'd be mine.

I said, "I'm sorry" and you near went into shock
And when I kissed your lips we heard our braces lock.
We've been together now for seven years this May
And no one's ever come between us to this day.

And as we walk into the night...
Each time I use my left foot, you have to use your right.
We're always rubbing noses like a pair of Eskimos,
And always stepping on each other's toes...
But you're mine!

© 1976 From the collection, "John B. and Me"

Do The Mushroom

Everybody now listen here
I got a new dance but have no fear
You don't have to shake or swing
You don't even have to get off your thing,
To do The Mushroom...
Everybody just sit around, do The Mushroom.
Mmmmm, Mmmmm, Mmmmm.

I went to Boston some months ago
How to get across town I didn't know
'Till I remembered 'bout the subway train
It was just about then that it started to rain
I went in a tunnel and I got some change
And I stepped aboard that subway train
To my surprise everybody's eyes said,
"Look here, Son, can't you see...
we're doing The Mushroom?"
Mmmmm, Mmmmm, Mmmmm.

I remember in church some years ago
The priest complaining that the funds were low
everybody was sitting, not making a sound
The eyes were forward and the knees were down
'Till a little bitty baby just started to cry
Made everybody just moan and sigh
I recall one lady in her Sunday best
Who had held her head up above the rest
She turned around slow and how she said,
"For God's sake can't you see...
we're doing The Mushroom?"
Mmmmm, Mmmmm, Mmmmm.

You can do it at a wake in a funeral home
You can do it with the Pope if you go to Rome
Do it at a party and have a ball
Just doing The Mushroom against the wall
In a library it's all the rage
You can do it to the music of a turning page
You do it in school or you get expelled
It's there you learn to dance so well
In a waiting room or in a line
You know it's rigormortis time...
With The Mushroom...
Mmmmm, Mmmmm, Mmmmm.

© 1976 From the collection, "John B. and Me"