Rick's Holiday Page 2003

Santa Claus Is Coming To Town (I didn't write this)

Each year, for a limited time only, I post this holiday page as a way of saying 'Yo Ho Ho!' to my friends. So, Yo Ho Ho!!!
(If you're from Providence, R.I. 'Not for nothin' but, Ho, Ho, frickin' Ho!')

If any of you should see Santa this month please mention that, instead of drums this year, a bit more sanity and humanity in the world would be greatly appreciated.
Oh yeah...and tell him Rick says 'Ho!'.

At this time of the year I think we should all ask ourselves...

"Why do you give your "two cents worth"...when it's only a "penny" for your thoughts"? Where is that extra penny going to?"

Rick's Heartwarming Tale of Christmas

Once upon a time, very long ago,
Santa was having a very bad Christmas.

He had sent an angel out to find a Christmas tree and at 8pm on Christmas Eve there was no sign of the angel and the North Pole had no tree. Santa's elves had gone on strike, demanding better wages and had stopped building toys long before they were finished. The reindeers had gotten into the eggnog and got themselves quite drunk. Then they took the sleigh for a ride and demolished it in the process.

There sat poor Santa with his head in his hands. No Christmas tree... Not enough gifts for boys and girls... The reindeer in no condition to pull the sleigh... and no sleigh to pull. Everything had gone very wrong.

Suddenly, the huge door burst open and with a gust of icy wind came a tiny angel dragging behind him a HUGE Christmas tree. "Hey Santa! Where do you want me to stick this?" asked the angel.

...and so began the tradition of the angel atop the Christmas tree.

"Hello? Is this Seymour's Market?.
Are your freezers running? ...They ARE?
...Well, You'd better go catch them!!!
Ho Ho Ho!"

I hope your year 2003 is filled with Health, Love, Clarity...and lots of laughs.


It's Not Easy Being Santa

When I was a little boy I used to wonder
Why I kept on seeing Santa Claus.
One day I saw him at my school, then on my street,
Then in a store...
and he sat right next to me at Burger Chef!
He had...
4 Super Chefs
3 French fries
2 Apple pies
and a big, super-chocolaty shake.
Now, how was I to know if this was Santa?
I never saw his reindeer or his sleigh.
And all my friends in school would laugh
Each time I said I saw him.
But they behaved their best
Right up till Christmas day.
So I decided, maybe there's no Santa
And peeked into the parlor Christmas Eve
And when I saw this big fat guy,
His clothes all full of ashes,
I really thought it had to be a dream!
...Till he said,
"It's not easy being Santa.
All year long I'm saving up for toys.
And then I have to make the rounds on Christmas Eve
And this old world's got lots of girls and boys."
"I'm always getting blamed for tinsel falling on the floor,
And always getting calls, 'Hello! Will you come to my store?'"
He told me that some dogs are always snapping at his feet.
So now inside his great big bag
He brings some scraps of ... (audience fills in here)
"It's not easy being Santa.
There's all this work and some kids don't believe.
Yet every year there'll always be a Christmas day
So have a pleasant dream on Christmas Eve."

1976 John B. and Me